Dear Parents

Dear Parents,


I do not want to be presumptuous by thinking that I am a fountain of great wisdom when it comes to parenting your children.  I find it a great deal easier to know how to parent when your children are all grown and on their own!  So it is with humility that I seek to send out this little reminder for all of our hard working parents who so love their children.
One of the issues that our family would face, from time to time, is that we would forget some of our basic tenets that we, as parents, had committed to from the beginning.  It was at that time that we would have a family chat about how we had strayed and how we, again as the parents, were going to help steer us back to those commitments we had made.  I found it way too easy to move away from the main goal in parenting.  Rather than keeping my eye on what was important, and yet difficult to do, I would just let my eyes slip a little bit and give in to what was easier.  The main goal of our parenting was to do our best to guide our children into a relationship with Jesus that was real, active, and of first importance.  It wasn’t enough that our children be kind, driven, and stay out of trouble.  If they were not doing those things out of a love for Jesus, then, ultimately, they would be lost forever.  Having good kids meant very little in the scope of eternity.  In the end, it would be their decision to follow Christ or not, but it was our job as a parent to provide the best environment in which to follow Him.
I find it interesting, as I look back, that as my children got older it was harder for me to not allow my eyes to slip off that goal.  They were basically polite, well liked children who did well enough in school and life to be considered good kids.  It was easy to accept that as enough.  I have learned, I believe, that the reason it was easier was because I could basically control their behavior and so I was content with that.  I could not control their heart, and that burden, for them to love Jesus, was real and heavy.  It was easy to coast on their goodness and not be so burdened for their hearts.  It was not a worry but a realization of the eternal consequences that weighed heavy.  I trusted Jesus for his grace in working in my children but the thought of their eternity was always a great weight on my heart and so I found it easy to accept them being well rounded kids as enough.  But, thank the Lord, he did not allow my eyes to slip for too long.  He always brought me back to seeing the need of their hearts.  Knowing that I could not control their hearts led to much prayer and a desire to lead toward Jesus and not simply good behavior or the church.  As I have said, that sober truth weighed heavy and so, at times, my eyes slipped from that goal to being satisfied with having good kids.  
My reminder, in love and humility, is to not allow your eyes to slip off the ultimate purpose in parenting for too long.  It is a great thing when your children do well, when they excel at school, when they score the winning goal, when they are kind to others and when they respect those in authority.  Enjoy those moments and enjoy the fact that you are teaching them well.  But never forget that your ultimate goal is for your children to do those things because of their love of Jesus.  That their hearts be turned toward the Lord in such a way that their hands and feet are driven to serve Him.  Do not run from the heavy burden for your children’s eternity as it will drive you to your knees and a truer walk with Jesus.


Always praying with you,


Ed