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Here is a theory that I am slowly developing.  One of the ways that you can tell who is the most independent spirit among your children is by who cuts their hair as a child.  Think about it.  What goes through the mind of a child who cuts their own hair?  On some level they must know that what they are doing will not last forever.  They know it does not hurt and that it would grow back.  So why cut their own hair?  My theory is that they are seeking to express their own independence and their desire to control who they are (or they were just bored).  They will determine what they look like and what hair style they have.  They do not want someone else to always be determining their style.  Your other children, because they are sinners, might feel the same way, but they are driven more by pleasing others and so they refuse to cut chunks out of their hair. The independent spirit loves to be themselves, more than they desire to please someone else.  I find it kind of humorous that they often think that they look good.  Of course, the follow up question and research has to be...what about those children who cut their sibling’s hair?  Yikes!
We all have this innate desire to be independent.  We desire, because we are sinners, to be our own authority.  To run our own lives.  We desire, in our hearts, to be able to be whom we believe we should be. Our culture encourages and places those desires above all else.  The belief that our inner desires and feelings are what is most important has led our culture to believe a man, if he believes and desires to be a woman, is really a woman.  Any authority that seeks to stop him, is vile and evil.  Our society believes that the highest form of love is to allow someone to be authentically real.  That they should be allowed to be whatever they feel in their heart.  To not allow that, to condemn that, is hateful and cruel.
I believe this is the struggle we face in raising children today. Independent thinking and being true to who you are can be a really good thing.  Not being driven by a fear of man can lead to people who bravely follow the will of the Lord in their life...apart from what other people think.  Cutting one’s hair may show a heart that is not driven by social conventions and will drive that child to stand alone.  We even encourage that kind of thinking.  We sing, I have decided to follow Jesus, though no one join me, I still will follow. Independence, shaped by God, is a great thing.  But independence, that seeks to be apart from God, leads to debauchery and rebellion. Being true to ourselves is only a good thing when it is done under the authority of God.  
I will continue to pray for parents and their children.  We desire to raise strong, independent children who do not bow to every societal whim but do bow to a holy God.  We do face a real and relentless enemy who seeks to capture our children’s hearts by encouraging them to chase every evil desire that is found in their hearts.  May you, as parents, rely solely on the Word of God and the guidance of the Spirit of God to guide your children in the righteous paths of our Good Shepherd.  May the Spirit grant you wisdom each and every time your child expresses their independence.  May you have the wisdom to know what is rebellion against God and what is independent thinking about style!

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