Helping People Change
Helping Other’s Change
I stole the idea for this blog and the specific points listed below from Paul Tripp’s weekly devotional called, Wednesday’s Word. It is a devotional that is well worth subscribing to. If we truly love people and want to be involved in their lives, there will come a time when we are called upon to help them change. Dr. Tripp speaks of those times where people are convicted of sin, they confess and repent of that sin, but when they try to implement change, they get stuck. As a brother and friend, it is our role to help them change. But how do we do that? Below are listed several ways to help them change. Here is the take away that you must see: It takes time, energy, and personal involvement. We cannot help people change by simple direct interaction. Meaning that we cannot simply tell people what is wrong and then how to change. No one changes that way. Not our children, not our spouses, and certainly not our friends. Helping people change means deep involvement in their lives. Think of it this way, who in the history of the world has ever calmed down by being told to calm down? But that deep involvement must be done with a strategic eye on the Word of God and Jesus. We are not seeking to mold each other into our own image but the image of Jesus. Heavy stuff but a key element in loving one another.
Here are three agenda-setting questions to constantly be asking yourself about the person whom you are mentoring, discipling, or holding accountable:
1. What does the Bible say about the information that has been gathered? Put simply, spend more time in the Bible. Not with the other person, but with yourself and God. Rich and powerful discoveries await as you examine the other person’s life through the lens of Scripture, looking for new ways to understand how a distinctly biblical worldview shapes our response to the issues in that person’s life. Apart from your own time in the Word, set aside additional time and ask, “What has God taught, promised, commanded, warned, encouraged, and done that addresses the struggles this person is facing?â€
2. What are God’s goals for change for this person in this situation? This question applies God’s call to “put off†and “put on†(Ephesians 4:22–24) to the specifics of a person’s thoughts, motives, and behavior. What does God want him or her to think, desire, and do? Answering these questions marks out our destination and the end of the process of change. We need to present biblical goals that fit the context in which a person lives and works. You can only do this if you have processed the person’s situation through sound biblical thinking and concrete goal setting.
3. What are some biblical methods for accomplishing God’s goals of change? After establishing biblical goals, we need to determine the best biblical means of accomplishing them. Often people have a sense of what is wrong, but the way they seek to correct it complicates matters further. We always need to ask: How should this person “put off†what needs to be put off, and “put on†what needs to be put on? What specific steps of obedience is God calling him or her to?
God has chosen us to be his ambassadors in the life of another person. Nothing we can do is more important or will have more lasting results. In view of the holiness and weightiness of this calling, we should not accept it without preparation. “How can I be used by God to stimulate the kind of change that needs to take place in this person?†This is the priceless question to ask every day in your discipleship and personal ministry relationships. Our goal is more than announcing and denouncing sin or providing a quick-fix temporary solution that doesn’t address the heart. We need to identify what specific and permanent changes God is calling this person to make.
I stole the idea for this blog and the specific points listed below from Paul Tripp’s weekly devotional called, Wednesday’s Word. It is a devotional that is well worth subscribing to. If we truly love people and want to be involved in their lives, there will come a time when we are called upon to help them change. Dr. Tripp speaks of those times where people are convicted of sin, they confess and repent of that sin, but when they try to implement change, they get stuck. As a brother and friend, it is our role to help them change. But how do we do that? Below are listed several ways to help them change. Here is the take away that you must see: It takes time, energy, and personal involvement. We cannot help people change by simple direct interaction. Meaning that we cannot simply tell people what is wrong and then how to change. No one changes that way. Not our children, not our spouses, and certainly not our friends. Helping people change means deep involvement in their lives. Think of it this way, who in the history of the world has ever calmed down by being told to calm down? But that deep involvement must be done with a strategic eye on the Word of God and Jesus. We are not seeking to mold each other into our own image but the image of Jesus. Heavy stuff but a key element in loving one another.
Here are three agenda-setting questions to constantly be asking yourself about the person whom you are mentoring, discipling, or holding accountable:
1. What does the Bible say about the information that has been gathered? Put simply, spend more time in the Bible. Not with the other person, but with yourself and God. Rich and powerful discoveries await as you examine the other person’s life through the lens of Scripture, looking for new ways to understand how a distinctly biblical worldview shapes our response to the issues in that person’s life. Apart from your own time in the Word, set aside additional time and ask, “What has God taught, promised, commanded, warned, encouraged, and done that addresses the struggles this person is facing?â€
2. What are God’s goals for change for this person in this situation? This question applies God’s call to “put off†and “put on†(Ephesians 4:22–24) to the specifics of a person’s thoughts, motives, and behavior. What does God want him or her to think, desire, and do? Answering these questions marks out our destination and the end of the process of change. We need to present biblical goals that fit the context in which a person lives and works. You can only do this if you have processed the person’s situation through sound biblical thinking and concrete goal setting.
3. What are some biblical methods for accomplishing God’s goals of change? After establishing biblical goals, we need to determine the best biblical means of accomplishing them. Often people have a sense of what is wrong, but the way they seek to correct it complicates matters further. We always need to ask: How should this person “put off†what needs to be put off, and “put on†what needs to be put on? What specific steps of obedience is God calling him or her to?
God has chosen us to be his ambassadors in the life of another person. Nothing we can do is more important or will have more lasting results. In view of the holiness and weightiness of this calling, we should not accept it without preparation. “How can I be used by God to stimulate the kind of change that needs to take place in this person?†This is the priceless question to ask every day in your discipleship and personal ministry relationships. Our goal is more than announcing and denouncing sin or providing a quick-fix temporary solution that doesn’t address the heart. We need to identify what specific and permanent changes God is calling this person to make.
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