Here Goes Nothing

Here Goes Nothing

I am pretty unsure of myself lately.  I am not even sure if I should write about this or not.  I am also not sure if anyone will be able to relate to my dilemma or not.  I am not even sure if I understand exactly that dilemma is.  I just know that I just wrote “I” a lot and that is probably my issue.  So here goes nothing...for the past several weeks it seems as if my life is pretty discombobulated.  It just does not seem like I am on the same page as anyone else (except my dog, her and I both know that everything is about her).  I seem to say the wrong things at the wrong time or I say the right things in the wrong way.  My ideas or plans seem to be the opposite of what anyone wants to do or if we do choose my ideas, they turn out to be bad ideas.  I’ve made some poor decisions that, thank the Lord, God has reversed.  It even seems as if I am on the wrong page with God. I choose to minister and God changes that ministry all together.  I listen to someone speak, I try to repeat what I heard, confirming what they said, and they politely tell me that what they were saying is not what I heard.  Oi.  I am just discombobulated.  I am pretty sure that writing about this will only make things worse but who knows...maybe others have experienced this from time to time in their lives.  If not, I am trusting God will fix this also.
So what do you do?  What am I doing to uncombobulate my discombobulation?  To be honest, the first thing I did was to check for unconfessed sin in my life.  Was I harboring sin in my heart that was keeping me from hearing the Spirit’s guidance in my life? Proverbs 3:7 says, “Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil”.  Was I trusting in my own thinking too much?  Was I being driven by my flesh instead of allowing the Spirit to lead?  To be honest, for me there was.  I was allowing my desire for some bigger ticket items to drive me to make hastier decisions that my wife was not quite on board with yet.  Those turned out to be poor decisions and I thank the Lord that he eventually allowed me to reverse those decisions.  
The second thing I have done is to take a break and to do more seeking than deciding and doing.  Proverbs 28:26 says, “Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered”.  I have been trying to combobulate my discombobulation. Even in ministry I was looking everywhere but right in front of me. God was opening doors of ministry but they were not the ones that I wanted to choose.  It was time to sit down and seek to hear his voice and not my own ideas.  I have tried to be quieter and to listen more to the Word of God.  For the time being, I just kind of assume that what I am thinking is wrong!!
The third thing I did was to place my faith in the promises of God. “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is in the Lord.  He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7,8.  God has promised that if I trust in him that I will be planted deep and firm.  I will be strong and steady in the darkest days as I am rooted and grounded in him and his word.  I trust that promise.  Soon my life will once again be steady and not discombobulated.
To be honest I must admit that I am having a little fun with this.  The past few weeks my life has been a little discombobulated but nothing disastrous has happened.  There were even times when I think I said the right thing and make a good decision.  But I did go through these three steps.  I wanted to make sure that I was being led by the Spirit and not my own desires.  I may not have a few extra things that I think would make life better but I am listening to the Spirit more.  That brings great joy, abundant life, and great purpose.  That combobulates a discombobulated life.  So if you find that you are in a funk or that nothing you seem to do turns out right, take time to work three those three steps.  Be still and listen to leading of the Spirit.

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